I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
