so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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