I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
