I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
