the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
