Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
