Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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