M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
