girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
this is an emotional support booty call
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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