So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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