So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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