she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
