Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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