You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
well you can't waste a boner
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
