i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize