they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
