just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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