Me too!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
