and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
