seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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