Umm I'm too high to move.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
