I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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