You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
