Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
