white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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