i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
