I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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