you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
