And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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