Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
