Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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