Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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