Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
