Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
