road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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