Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I have aggressive nipples.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize