I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize