An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
