5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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