I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
