FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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