...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
