I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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