Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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