There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
