I want to stick my p in your. b.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
