Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
