Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She's the barista slut.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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