Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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