he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
