Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I need to stop coming to work sober
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
