we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize