it wasn't lemon gatorade
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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