We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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