Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
high people should be assigned attendants
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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