Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My vagina just recognized that song.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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