Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
