seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I don't deserve a penis
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Success! We fucked roommates!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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