you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
