Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
