i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
