i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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