She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
