Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
