Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
