im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
