Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
