You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
