Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
